Don't feel like it...

Don't feel like doing anything. I hate the winter. I am trying this year to embrace it...sweaters, fireplace, read a book, hot chocolate but it's a struggle for me. And the dark days of February are not even here yet. Thank God most of those close to me know to just ride it out and in the Spring I will be back. I guess I may put some off though. I know people may think I am mad at them and I'm not. I am just mad. I am so optimistic right after Christmas. House is in order I have a whole new year to plan and get things right.

Enter Weight Watchers...the torture I have debited from my checking account every month. Now that the scale hasn't budged from the 10lbs lost in the summer...I am getting discouraged. But I do have this fabulous leader, Alice. She is has to be 70 at least. She is tall not very thin although she has "lost 31lbs with Weight Watchers and had kept it off for 30 years"(clap clap clap...anyone who's ever went to a WW meeting knows what I mean) she wears tons of makeup, has her hair dyed bleach blonde wears patterned stocking and sexy clothes. I want to be her when I am an old lady. I think 30 years? Dam, I think 30 years ago.. who cared what I weighed? I was skinny for crying out loud then...SKINNY! Anyway thankfully Alice keeps me coming back. This is the first time though that I am doing WW alone. I always did it with someone else. So I am determined. I have tried the gym alone and that doesnt work for me...so this I must stick to. So add that to the winter blues and no wonder I am a witch. If I could just sit in the house and only have the foods I need to stick to it that would be great. The fact that every weekend is another party, dinner out, wine, take-out, wine, hanging with friends, wine...I don' t know maybe it's the wine?

I am just not in the mood. I dont feel like going out, doing stuff up at school, eating right, exercising, chit chatting, etc., etc., etc. I am in a word a drag. I know it. I hear it in my voice. In who I see when I look in the mirror.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just check out for a bit when we want to. Just close out the world, wear pajamas 24/7, eat junk food and watch t.v. Sounds like fun. Well for a day or two anyway. I really don't appreciate this grouchy Winter Witch at all. She arrives right after the holidays and sits her fat butt in my house and sucks the life outta me. But as usual I do battle with her. Fight her off the best I can every day. Some days she wins. Most days I don't let her.

How many days til spring? I am not sure. But you can be sure I will find out.