Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Whatta week....

Well back from the beach..although it wasn't the greatest weather it still was a great time. Read lots, played with the kids, walked on the beach.

Definitely where I feel at peace. Seeing what happened when I got home it may have been better to get to go away after rather than before.

Again I try to see the lesson I can learn from things that happen. Some lessons aren't fun to learn. Like all the should haves to prevent a crappy thing from happening. Those lessons just suck unless you can figure out a way to go back in time.

What can I take away from it? Well I guess one thing is to put my money where my mouth is. I asked myself do I really still believe all I have is all I need? After the inital shock of it all...I can say yes. Do I still believe what's important is not all the stuff I have but who I have in my life. Yes I do. Sure at first I was so upset. But I can move on. My kids are a shining example. They handled the whole thing better than me I think. Life went on. Life goes on. It may seem like it had just stopped short and you need to catch your breath. But it still goes on. Every day comes like the one before. So pick yourself up dust yourself off and get going. Times like this I am glad my life is a constant wheel in motion and I can find 100 things to focus on and put my energy for.I can honestly say I never thought poor me. I am still seriously pissed off and will be for awhile.
But I know for sure I am still a lucky gal.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Back to Back 40th Birthday Bashes and I lived to tell the tale...

Imagine that. lol Where do I begin?

Well my 40th (not Surprise) Birthday party was just great. Not to mention the spa day my hubby sent me on while he cleaned, cooked and organized it all. All my closest friends minus one or two were there. Sometimes when I am the hostess I get worried that I am spending too much time with one group and not talking enough to another...but I really felt like I got to talk with everyone and flit around from one person to the other. I hope everyone had fun I know I did. I have the goofy pictures to proove it!

That all being said, like I just told someone a little while ago..it is not often that I am rendered speechless. But my 40th birthday has left me that way about ten times over. I can't say how many heartfelt things people have said to me, about me...me and my husband..etc. over the last few days. I have learned in my 40 years how to take a compliment better, and not to counter-attack it with something negative about myself, most times. That's really hard for me to do.
But the things people have said to me, not things like.."oh I love your shoes...where did you get them" to which I would usually reply something like..."These? Oh they were only $10 blah blah blah..."
I am talking about friends telling me or writing in cards how they feel about me. Making me realize how important I am to them. I know how important they are to me. I guess I just never really thought about what I was to them. It's so hard for me to put into words and my emotions keep sneaking up on me. As happy as these past days have made me and how many times I have laughed til my sides split, that's how many times I have been brought to tears.
Silly I guess.
First on the actual b-day when friends decorated my house, car etc. and kids decorated the inside. (as I am thinking are you nuts..what the hell are you getting choked up about?) Then out to breakfast and floored with such thoughtful and labor intensive gifts...(again..ok you are in a public place..keep it together!!)then during dinner with my hubby....(again...uh public place..but thinking how this guy is really working this birthday week thing for me...), then laying there getting a facial or one of those treatments during my "spa day" thinking...who the heck do I think I am? And how lucky am I today...and most days come to think of it. (CANNOT cry here they will think I am a nut...), then listening to the crazy sweet things my friends wrote about me for the basket Hubby set up during my party...then trying to say something not completely stupid afterwards. It really has been too much!
And finally, the next night at my new "bff"'s surprise 40th birthday party...now my birthday week was done. It's not about me...truthfully I was getting tired of it being about me already..imagine what those around me must've thought! But after my pal got the living you know what scared out of him when we surprised him and came in to say hello to all these 80 people standing in his house hugging & kissing him I looked at his face and I thought 'well that says it all. " Tears in his eyes and a look of shock. But I knew that look. I felt that look. It wasn't just the surprise at that point (although I must say it was the best surprise I have ever seen in my life...can you say..."How YOU doin'?). It was a look of...this for me? All these people did this for me? I know I am a good person, people like me, I try like hell to be a good spouse, parent, friend...but all this for me? I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is a good way to describe it all. Then after a night of partying HARD...dancing for hours, singing and all the carrying on you can imagine that goes on at a 40th birthday party...it all comes full circle. Everyone went home, except for a few house guests and us, we hung around cleaned up a little...had a night cap or two (more like a morning cap seeing it was like 2 a.m.), laughed ourselves silly while we reviewed the night and all the planning and sneaking around that went down to get this party pulled off. The surprisee got a gift from a dear cousin that flew in just for the occasion, a picture of them as kids, blown up to 8x10. This would be the only picture of himself he has, since his mom died when he was very young and he never had any pictures of his childhood. So when we were all done crying (thank God now I could finally cry since everyone else was ...and at that point I almost lost it)we all knew that this is what's important. Not where you live, what you wear, what you drive or how many figures are on your paycheck. What you make your life to be is important. At the end of the day you know you've done your damdest.. you love your family, your friends...your life. And if you're truly blessed these wonderful people that you build your life around love you back.
So now that I have arrived at the decade of 40...I am so very grateful, blessed and humbled by the people I have in my life. All of them. I will let them all know whenever I get the chance, because them letting me know has been the best gift I will ever receive.
OK OK...lets not get crazy I still like pocketbooks too...!
Good grief and I have a LOT of thank you's to write!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Big 4-0 has come and gone

Well I must say my 40th birthday has been the best birthday that I can remember. I had a perfect day. Got up bright and early...and while in the shower was informed by Shorty that there are balloons all over the floor outside my bedroom door, decorations everywhere, and some huge sign on the front lawn..which I MUST hurry up and take him outside to see!!! So much for the initial surprise....but still a pleasant one. Indeed there were balloons everywhere...40's plastered from one end of the house to the other (even in the refrigerator) compliments of DD and friend in the middle of the night....the front of the house decorated thanks to friends who I thought left at 11pm the previous night...and yes a HUGE sign right in the middle of the front lawn announcing to the whole town that yes Cara is 40..compliments of my usually "flamingo-ing" friends. (poor guy came at 5am with his suit on before he got on the train!!!) Oh did I mention the writing all over my car whereas I could announce my birthday to the world as I tooled around town? And said writer also wrote that information on her car in case E. I. wanted to know too!

Then off to Milk and Sugar with some of my favorite gal pals. Where I got the most beautiful thoughtful presents...remind me to show them to you when you come by. I love them. And the people who gave them to me.

Then home for the day and then off to Maxwells for dinner...just me, my man and a bottle of LI Wine. What more could a girl ask for? Apparently a party tomorrow night...printable non- incriminating details (what I will be able to remember anyway) after.

So far 40 is
fabulous...I think I will be 40 again next year.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Party's over

Block party for 115 is done. Whew. What fun..but what hard work! Thank God we have our family to help us. We would be dead without them. I think I may have killed the heel of my foot though dancing in the street with the girls in my flip flops. I literally couldn't put weight on it when I got out of bed. Thankfully it felt better after a little while...I didnt need to give everyone fodder for chit chat like after a summer party last year. Note to self: Never dance in flip flops!
Many thank yous and rave reviews have come in since...which I am grateful for. Makes it all worth it. During crunch time of the party 'bout 2 hours or so before everyone comes..I start to think..am I nuts? Why do we kill ourselves for this stuff all the time. Then I look at the pictures I took...kids swimming on an absolutely beautiful "couldnt ask for better weather" day...my inlaws and their siblings laughing at the table, my parents sitting in the shade with good old Harry the Wonder Dog who's 17th birthday was that day, my big kids with their boy/girl teenage friends awkwardly hanging out one trying to play it cool better than the other, Mikey and pals covering themselves in glow in the dark tatoos, my great neighbors who are now my friends dancing together in the street, not to mention the Three Stooges with their matching T-Shirts. Old friends meeting new friends, food, food and did I mention food? So that's why we do it. Besides the fact the Pittas love a good party...it's the memory making that's one of the best things. Establishing history with your family, friends. Like they say...priceless.

This block party...definitely one for the history books. Now, can you say birthday party???

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

PTA Meeting in August...seriously

Seriously it sounded like a good idea when we planned it. But at least we opted to do wine and cheese lol.

Maybe I will finally meet my 2nd Vice President. It would be nice. Up til now I think she is not really a person. But my friend who has had a history with this person would correct me for sure. But I will see what that deal is in about 10 minutes.

I didnt sleep last night for whatever reason. Dreaming wacky dreams again. Dreamt that some kids were spray painting the houses on my block with orange spray paint so I had to wait all night for the cops to come. Hence no sleeping I guess. I need a dream analysis. I may find I am nuts after all

~Writing now after my PTA meeting which ran 'til 11:30 p.m.! Wow. But I am actually pretty pumped about this coming year. Everyone on my Executive Board had pretty strong personalities and a lot of great ideas. Maybe we will finally have an active productive MS PTA, which was my ultimate goal upon agreeing to this job. I hope after two years we have a lot of great stuff in place. I am confident now that we will.

My VP who I thought was going to be a pitbull, turns out to be more like a beagle! I was ready to lay it on with her, but I don't think I will need to. Although I need to get more insider info from my above mentioned friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below I am inserting something a friend emailed me. Its an article a Newsday columnist wrote which really hit home with me. It sums up pretty much where I am at...


By Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief.
I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two
taller than I, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books as
I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their
opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I
choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to
keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the
bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by
themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber
ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible
except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now.
Penelope Leach, T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry
and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown
obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are
battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages
dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what
the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then
becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an
endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive
reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout.
One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on
his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last
arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden
infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is
terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.
Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful
books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of
infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil
for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat
little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he
developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he
went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine - &
walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes
were made. They have all been enshrined in the, "Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not
theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for
preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her
geography test, and I responded," What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I
include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through
speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all
insisted I include that.)

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while
doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear
now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow
of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could
remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and
how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a
hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had
treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and
what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday
they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they
simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways
that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was
often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how
it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the
world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to
learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the
experts were.

...........crying yet? I was.



Monday, August 6, 2007

Nine days and counting

Summers rolling along...someone said today that they can't wait for September. Yuck. I can. I have really learned to enjoy every minute of my summer.. dinner at any old time we feel like it, night swims, summer parties, wearing my bathing suit and cover up "uniform" like everyday. I am not even sick of watering my plants yet.

I may even miss the "Mom?" "Mom come here for a minute?" "Mommy look at me do...(fill in the blank) every five minutes.

But I think my much deserved me time will do me well come September. I will probably walk around in circles (preferably in the mall...haha) for the first few weeks until I get my groove on I suppose. God knows my PTA disease will keep me busy many days. I am looking forward to picking up friendships with people who didnt decide to have that "one more baby" like I did five years ago. Maybe be able to do lunch now and again in someplace other than McDonalds.

But, even though I had started out with my baby number three not planning on making anymore friends, "cause I had enough trouble keeping up with the friends I already had" I have made some remarkably wonderful friendships. I can't believe the people I would have missed out on had I not had Michael. Granted I was very happy friendship wise pre-Michael. But I have such a big "new crop" of friends it amazes me sometimes. Probably why my party lists are teetering out of control lately. My "old" friends sometimes come to a P-Party and are like who they hell are these people..to which I reply "my friends!" I am lucky though I know. I treasure all the friendships I have now and the one's I have lost. I always get melancholy around my birthday thinking of friendships that have fizzled. But they did probably for good reason.

So anyway...this week is planning for party #2 of August. We went to the neighbor summer party 2007 on Saturday night. I gotta say there's nothing like a party on your block that you can just walk to. This year was great since we know all our neighbors better. We are joined at the hip with the two next door so we had a great time. We all danced so much my legs are still killing me two days later. It's a treat for us too, to be able to be guests at a party once in awhile. But who I am I kidding...giving parties is what we do. And since we do it like every month I guess we kinda enjoy it. So block party for 100 or so of our closest friends is upon us. I should probably start cooking now...

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

2 weeks and holding...

I actually don't feel 40something looming...not sure why I called this that. I am looking forward to it actually. That's why I changed it to 40's here I come...

I feel like I know who I am now. What I want..what I need. I have no room for B.S. in my life anymore. No room for high maintenance people. I am exactly where I thought I would be at this time in my life. Granted back then I thought 40 was ancient...don't we all when we are 21 or so...!

Had a PTA meeting tonight believe it or not. It's July for God's sake. But being crowned PTA President of the Middle School this year...there things I gotta do. We planned the district calendar and man are there lots of meetings. But I have already decided that I will pick and choose what I go to. I have to go to my PTA meetings cause I have to run them. But all these others I will play by ear. I wonder about some of these PTA people...why they do all the things that they do. I guess everyone has some kind of an agenda. But I am determined not to do so many things "for my children" and not enough things with my children. Although this president thing is a committment I am positive its where I need to be right now. There are things that need to be changed and made right and the team I have this year will get the job done. I hope.

By the way...that wake I went to was uneventful. Felt bad for my aunt and cousins...but it wasn't a traumatic throw yourself in the coffin kind of wake..and believe me I have been to those. Actually there wasnt even a coffin...just a box of ashes. That was weird to me. Although I really hate the whole wake thing. What we put ourselves through when someone dies is mind boggling to me. I guess what good came of it is that I met cousins that I never knew..and it prompted people to make plans to get together who havent seen eachother in many years. So some good can come of it all. My good egg of a husband drove me back and forth to Connecticut for about two hours worth of waking. Bless his heart.lol

I am going to try to do this more often. (blogging that is) How cool if others do it too. It's way late...gotta go hit the hay. His Michael-ness will be up at the crack of dawn.