Tonight's Dinner...Sweet & Sour Pork

I am not the most outstanding cook in the world but I do make some good stuff and people do ask for recipes all the time. So I have decided that now and again I will post a recipe when I make it, if I think it's worth sharing.

Tonight's recipe came about since my 2nd refrigerator/freezer conked out on us with not one but two pork roasts in the freezer. So since they had both defrosted I could not refreeze them. So last night it was Pulled Pork in the crockpot and tonight it was Sweet and Sour Pork. I was considering making a pork roast as part of Christmas Day dinner...uh not anymore. I will have to rethink that one. So here's what was for dinner tonight. Everyone liked it (amazing 'cause they hate when I try new stuff) except Shorty of course. He had Taquitos. For your listening pleasure...one of my favorite Christmas songs...for my favorite guy who always says he likes what I cook. Even if he stands over me now and then to make sure I am doing it right. xo

Sweet & Sour Pork

2lbs boneless pork loin

1/2 c flour

1/4 c cornstarch

1/2 cup cold water

1/2 tsp salt

1 egg

1 can (20 oz) pineapple chunks in syrup; drained and syrup reserved

1/2 c packed brown sugar

1/2 cup white vinegar

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp soy sauce

2 medium carrots cut into thin diagonal slices

1 garlic clove finely chopped

2 TBL spoons cold water

1 medium bell pepper cut into 3/4 inch pieces

Hot cooked rice

1. Trim excess fat from pork; cut into 3/4 inch pieces

2. Heat 1 inch of oil in deep fryer or dutch oven

3. Beat flour, 1/4 cornstarch, 1/2 cold water, 1/2 tsp salt, and the in egg in a large bowl until smooth. Stir pork into batter until well coated.

4. Add pork pieces on at a time to the oil. Fry 20 pieces at a time for about 5 minutes turning 2-3 times until golden brown. Drain on paper towels; keep warm

5.Add enough water to reserved pineapple syrup to measure 1 cup. heat syrup mixture, brown sugar, vinegar, 1/2 tsp salt, soy sauce, carrots and garlic to boiling in a dutch oven. Then reduce heat to low.

6. Cover and simmer about 6 minutes or until carrots are crisp-tender. Mix 2 TBL spoons cornstarch and 2 TBL spoons cold water; stir into sauce.

7. Add pork, pineapple and pepper. heat to boiling sirring constantly. Boil and stir for 1 minute.

Serve with rice.

Prep Time: 25 min
Total Time: 55 min
Makes: 8 servings (about 2 cups each)

Christmas mess...

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." -- Andy Rooney

I know another quote. I can't resist. But I love that. It takes so long to get ready. Clean up from Thanksgiving. Put away all the pumpkins, turkeys and anything orange. Then clean the house again and set up all the Christmas decorations. Takes me a good week to get the inside done. With this being our third Christmas in this house I think I remember this year where things go. There's something oddly comforting for me to have the same hole in the molding from last year to tack up my garland.

I guess like many people I dream of that perfectly decorated home at Christmas. You know the one with the perfect snow outside that no one had run across. The beautiful greenery around the massive double front doors with each light placed perfectly around them. Inside a 20 foot tree with each branch decorated perfectly with beads, glass ornaments, and lights. Presents underneath with matching ribbons and bows. No SpongeBob wrapping paper here.

Though I may strive for that or at least some of that every year, I probably will never totally achieve it. But I am not sure that deep down I really want to.

I hang many of the school creations from years past. I still have cotton ball Santas that the Diva made in nursery school and she is in 10th grade. There's a Santa made from a paintbrush happily looking at me from my tree as I type this. Tonight Shorty demonstrated his new skill of cutting snowflakes from paper that he learned in art class today. He then proceeded to make a snowstorm that we covered the family room windows with. And I love them. They are not from Fortunoff. They are not expensive or crystal encrusted. But they are one of a kind. And they were made with love. They probably won't appear on the cover of some snooty catalogue. But, they will appear again next year when I open the Christmas storage tub containing kids' creations.

So this year as they open their gifts on Christmas morning I won't run for the big black garbage bag right away. I will just sit in their glorious mess and admire the snowstorm taped to my windows.

Don't Hunch Your Back with Yesterday

I just added that quote to my quote list. I just read it in an article about the person certain famous people were inspired by. That quote was from Danny Thomas, as told to his daughter.

I didn't get it at first. But it caught my eye since I love great quotes...hence the list.

As I read and thought about it, I got it. Its about not holding grudges because they don't change the person/situation you are angry with. It only weighs you down. It eats you up makes you "hunched" over with misery.

I know someone that is going for surgery today, and it won't be pleasant. (not that any surgery is "fun" with maybe the exception of a c-section since you get a baby after but still it's not fun by any means...) But she is getting a second chance, catching the disease before it runs rampant through her body.

So what does she have to say when I call to wish her luck? She just complains on and on about her daughter in law who is coming to spend the whole day at the hospital with her. She apparently didn't call her enough times leading up to surgery day for her liking so now she is pissed at her and would just rather "go through surgery alone without anyone there".... complain complain complain....Seriously.

To quote a friend's favorite line..."Are you f-ing kidding me?" I mean don't look at the fact that your daughter in law has four kids under 7 and needs to make what I am sure amounts to a logistical nightmare for her kids so she can be there. That she will be well for Christmas and not sick and get to be with her grandsons? That she will be 100% by next October when her other son gets married? No she just holds grudges and misery. I don't think she will ever feel 100% since she cannot let go of ANYTHING.

So the lesson here for me is to not hold yesterday on my back. Though with some people and circumstances I think that's hard. But I can try. It doesn't do you any good. Funny the book club choice of the month taught that lesson too. I think when you take the time to listen....you find the answers that you need.

Courage

I cannot believe I was at a wake again. This time a mom. A mom that was a friend through PTA. If you know anything about PTA you know you can find some amazing people there. (some incredibly annoying people there as well, but again another post)

This person was the first person that I met when my PTA journey began 11 years ago. She was the first person to reach out and make me feel welcome. She would always say hello if she ran into me in the store even if she didn't know my name yet. We worked together on various PTA things over the years. We would always chat, compare "mom notes" as her two children are the same age as my older two. She was just good. She was an advocate for the children of our town, and always got the job done. As the years passed I became more involved, now one of the old timers that have been around the block a few times. I've done it...from class mom to PTA President. And throughout it I remembered to treat people the way Julie treated me. I always tried to and I think I have.

She got sick about two years ago and we saw less and less of her. But then she was on the mend, back at work. Saw her a few times over the summer. Her "new" hair grew in and we joked about blondes having more fun. School started and I realized I hadn't seen her around. And on Monday I got the call. Then I knew why I hadn't seen her lately.

I couldn't coordinate with other friends on a time to go together so I went to the wake alone. The whole town was there as I knew they would be. I have never felt alone in a room full of people before. It was surreal. I just stood on the line not speaking. Just smiling at this one and that one as they made eye contact across the room. Now I am not the rock for people when they are grieving that I would like to be. I usually am of no use. I don't handle all this well. So I was scared that I would make a spectacle of myself when it was my turn to approach the casket. But I didn't. She looked at peace after being in unbearable pain. I was happy for a minute that I was able to touch her hand and say goodbye. I just turned and walked out of the funeral parlor and cried all the way home...cried for her children and her husband, all of her very sad friends. I felt in my heart what is every mother's greatest fear.

I have sort of been asked to mention her at a huge family basket ball game night we are running on Friday for the school district. The money we raise will now go towards a scholarship in her name. I have the words I should say. Someone helped me figure out what they should be. But how. How am I going to say them? Now as you can see from the thousands of words just on my blog I am not usually at a loss. I am trying to pawn it off on someone who could really be the person to do it rather than me. Cowardly I know. And I am usually not a coward. But I am scared I won't do it right, or I will break down or God knows what.

I quote..."As for you my fine friend, you are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage! You are confusing courage with wisdom. " ~The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz

Am I? Confusing courage with wisdom? Do I think because I am scared to do it, that I don't know how? I do know how. I have courage. Courage to go to a wake alone where my heart broke as I waited on that line. Courage to go back to my nice warm house afterward, where my little boy was waiting for me to come home to watch an oldie but goodie on tv, and put a smile on my face so he would not know his mommy was crying. Courage to not get lost in the "what if this happens to me" and know to just be grateful for what I have and where I am. Courage to do the right thing even if it's the last thing I want to do.

So if I have to speak I will. I just hope, no I know, Julie's got my back.

State of mind...

Now, with 3 kids, a husband, 3 pets and a mortgage of course I live in the 'burbs". duh.

But ah, the city. Spent the day there yesterday with my brood, since the kids were off from school. Well, actually my brood these days consists of maybe about 25 people ranging from age
mid 40's to "can't even sit up yet" but that's another story.

It was a crisp clear beautiful fall day. We took the early train in much to the dismay of sleepy commuters, we were not a quiet kind of traveling brood mind you. It was Shorty's (and some pal's) first time on the train so the excitement level was through the roof. It was Veteran's Day and many of our brave men and women in uniform were roaming around as well. Even George W. was in town.

Got in without a hitch which is saying a lot if you knew the crowd we were with. We walked to Macy's, already started getting set up for Christmas. Made my heart sing to walk in and hear Christmas music playing. I know it's WAY early, but c'mon doesn't the first song you hear each year make you smile just a little??? Santa was not there yet. (which really was o.k. even I am not ready to sit on his lap yet) he doesn't come 'til the end of the Thanksgiving Day parade remember???

We meandered over to Junior's for an early lunch. (http://www.juniorscheesecake.com/juniors_cheesecake/Juniors_Cheesecake_Home/Our_Restaurants.php
Kids got their own table and actually were really good the whole time. Maybe they were really as hungry as they all said. But they laughed and chatted with two really nice waiters who helped keep them entertained. We all had ridiculously large reubens and other various meat stacked sandwiches. Some of us had egg creams and most of us of course, had to try some famous cheese cake for dessert. Thinking about it now, reubens, egg creams and cheesecake? Can you have a more NY inspired lunch? Seriously.

Off again. A quick stop in the Nintendo store, which can be summed up as video games on steroids. A little boy's heaven on earth. Then off to really why we are there in the first place, Radio City Music Hall. I just love to walk in there. I have been several times, as have my big ones. (Shorty's first time again) but each time is as breathtaking as the one before. It has never lost it's charm. Carpeted throughout with a massive chandelier hovering overheard. And although I needed oxygen by the time I climbed the staircases to our seats, which were truly the worst seats in the house, the stage was as awesome as the first time I saw it. And honestly there isn't a bad seat in RC so we were just fine. The Christmas Spectacular was wonderful. Three D effects for the newbies in the beginning was pretty cool. Rockettes were amazing as always, still makes me want to be one for a minute like I did when I was little.

We headed straight to the train after the show, to the complaining of some disgruntled short people who needed to go into Toys R Us. (I mean, is it ever enough? My only complaint of the day). Home in the house by 6:00 pm to eat turkey soup DH made the day before. Yum. I did remember to thank my two big ones for being good sports with a day filled with little kids, they made me proud as always.

These are the days that remind me why I never want to move. Yes, I live in one of the most expensive places in the U.S., my taxes are enough to make you want to run screaming into the night.

But I have the Big Apple a short train ride away. I can be at the ocean in 30 minutes by car. I can take a weekend drive and see the most amazing fall foliage ever. So why would I go?

I know people that have moved away. And I listen to how the weather is so great...I'm sorry swimming on Christmas day is weird. I would rather go sledding and I hate winter! And yes I know boys carry your groceries to your car and won't accept a tip. I am lucky if I get my stuff bagged at the register. (and they are too slow and do it wrong most of the time anyway)

But you know what? I can get an egg cream if I want. (some people don't even know what that is..poor souls) I can shop for ANYTHING I want. I can lay at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean and take the sun in the morning and be sitting in a Broadway theatre by the evening.

So keep your constant sunshine and your carried for you groceries. I would take carrying my own bags in the shadow of the greatest city in the world any day over that.

Angels in Disguise

I never talk much about babies. I am done with that part of my life. Diapers, bottles, disrupted sleep. I joke now that I am done, like stick a fork in me I am done.

I guess having Shorty so long after the other two were independent was hard a lot of times. Dragging him around to all the big kids things when I just wanted him to be able to be home like they were when they were younger. And I guess when I finally had a little bit of freedom, when he was in school and now in school full time I never wanted to go back to being stuck. Stuck in the house, not being able to do lunch with the girls, not showering til 3:00 in the afternoon. All those things I was not happy about when I got myself "stuck" again six years ago.

SIX years ago. Where did that time go? For awhile now I have been afraid that I wished it away. Too much complaining and not enough being in the moment.

Yesterday I was holding a little fellow that I know during a breakfast with the girls. He is the kind of guy that you just want to take a bite out of, big blue eyes and all. As we chatted all 8 of us a mile a minute an older woman walked by our table. She looked me holding him and mouthed..."just love him". Guess she must've thought he was mine. I smiled and said I know.

As I thought about my day later on, I thought I did love them. I mean of course I love them but I did love it. Loved that baby smell, that little diaper butt, feeding them a bottle and finding them staring at my face and when I looked down they would smile and dribble formula all over the place. The serious LOUD jumping in the exersaucer, baby food jars in the cabinet, the sound of the baby mobile playing a lullaby over the baby monitor. I have been afraid that because I don't miss it I have wished it away. I don't miss it. Not in the sense that I want it back. I just think now that when I hold a baby or walk down the baby aisle in the supermarket that feeling I get is not dread. It's a tug at my heart to remind me of how wonderful it all was and how lucky I was to have happy healthy babies to love.

I love my life now and where we are at as a family. I can have grown up deep conversations with these two teenagers that live with me. And I know they are the same two lumps folded up in a tight little receiving blanket that I held in the middle of the night. I have a 6 year old that blows me away with the insightful questions he asks. The same baby that during the first time I fed him in the hospital at 2:00 am, as we sat there in that very dimly lit room, and I told him well you certainly aren't a Bianca ( I was convinced he was going to be a girl) he slowly blinked his eyes and I swear moved closer into my arms and smiled. As if to say, "Nope I'm me and it's nice to meet you."

So thanks to that little baby muffin I held in the diner yesterday. And thanks to that lady who walked by. Thanks for reminding me what has always been in my heart. Thank you, angels in disguise. (and also to the one that inspired this post...you know who you are)

There's that "change" thing again...

Seems I write a lot about change lately. How I really don't like it, try to resist it. But know in my heart of hearts there ain't a dam thing I can do about it.

This year is almost over. And not only have I faced a lot of personal change..now our country had embraced change. Seems to be the theme of the year. Change is really staring me in the face now. As usual I approach change with trepidation. I am usually a black and white person. Meaning that's how I see things...not gray. But for the first time I am kinda gray. Not sure about the direction my country is going in..hopeful I suppose but not sure. My children as usual teach me what I need to know.

They live in a household of a certain political party, which is to say, that even though we vote one way, we are usually considerate of other people's views, and have taught them to respectfully agree to disagree. They also have four grandparents that are f-a-r to one side. I guess they have been predisposed to lean to a certain side. So they were upset with the "outcome". So I tried to explain to them that no American wants harm to come to our country and everyone wants what's best. Then I said it. "Change is good." "I think right now we needed it. Maybe we needed to have the apple cart shook up for some reason. " To which they responded, Well Mom, like you say everything happens for a reason". (don't you hate when your own words come back to bite you in the ass??) So I ease their worry and promise when they wake up tomorrow life will go on. And it did.

So I guess my year of change has culminated with the mother of all change. I am really hoping for some good status quo for 2009. I think status quo gets a bad rap sometimes. Although I don't like change I do remain forever hopeful. I really have become the glass half full kind of gal. So maybe I will just stay in the gray zone for awhile. It's a happy place for me. For now.

Not Good-bye pal...

Tonight I said "til next time" to a bunch of my favorite people. Our friends the "Mc's" leave for their new life in Georgia a week from today.

So we got the families together for dinner tonight. Just pizza, beer, wine...kept it easy. If you looked in the window it looked like any other time we had dinner together...all four male children glued to the Wii...eating pizza in the family room,,,jumping all over the couch and spilling soda all over the floor. Female children planted firmly at the dinner table listening and commenting on the "adult" conversation. We talked about Georgia, the schools, the new house, re-finishing old wood floors. We laughed at old jokes, ranted like PTA moms do about school stuff the usual. Then it was time for them to go.

The kids are so well adjusted. They are ready for the adventure. Their mom prepared them well...and I think they are looking forward to it. So if we do such a good job preparing our children what they heck happens to us? How come we can't part with smiles on our face happy to be embarking on a new life and happy for our friend as they go? Where did all the laughing we were just doing go as we crumble into pieces at the door, not wanting this to really to be happening. It was much easier living in denial...thinking Oct 20th was so far away. But it's here. This was the goodbye we wanted. Quiet. Not with all the hoopla of going away parties and people trying to be the one that "will miss them the most". Our families, together just being ourselves..like we have for the past ten years. Not a good-bye either...a "we will see you in 8 weeks when you are back for Christmas."

I just wish....

~goodbyes weren't so hard

~ things can just stay the same when they are so good

~everyone could know a person as truly good as my dear "B"

~I will always be the kind of friend she deserves

I hope stupid Georgia (which is how I refer to it now...never really gave the state much thought but now it's stupid) knows what they are getting. I know. They are getting my sounding board, my shining example of how to be a good person through and through, my understanding look from across a room without having to say a word, my family backyard camp outs, my nudge in the arm letting me know I am doing a good job. My unconditional friend. My low maintenance friend...my give and take friend. My angel on my shoulder...who I taught how to "weed the garden", and put herself first once in a blue moon. One of the many in her fan club. Even though I am so sad, I am happy. I am lucky to have her as my friend and no amount of miles can erase that. We may not be able to grab an hour or two at the diner with a minutes notice, be we will always have each other. Yes it will be different but it will not fade. And I am thankful, for all that she taught me, her love for my family and for sharing her family with me. So we start a new chapter in our life. We will make it good. (there I go trying to embrace change again..and I still do not like it by the way)

Self worth

Where does self-worth come from? Does it come from some magical place inside us like I have heard? Or do we need to be validated from outside our "souls". I don't know.

I "used to" work. I was very much needed where I worked. I was good at what I did. My job was part of who I was. I knew what the stock market was doing, I looked at it everyday. I had to read certain parts of the Wall Street Journal every morning. I wore suits and stockings and high heels. I had a lunch hour, 6 weeks paid vacation, and a sports car. Then I had a baby. I worked right up until one week before I gave birth ( not planned..early arrival!) I thought I could be a "working" mom. I really did. My mother did it, never seemed to phase her. I can remember the day I went back to work after maternity leave. I cried the whole way there. I hated my desk, the stock market and most everyone I worked with. I watched the clock all day and sprinted out when the day was done. I spent my lunch hour shopping for baby clothes in expensive North Shore shops. I felt guilty all the time. Resented my poor father who was my full time free babysitter. He did such a great job, but I was mad at him for being home with her.


So enter the SAHM (Stay at home mom). I finally felt normal. When working full time in my neighborhood made me feel like a leper. We were poor as shit but happy. Going from a two income to a one commission based income was a shocker to say the least. But we did it we managed. DH's business grew and grew until we got to where it was good. Very good really. So I went about my SAHM career. Took my kids to preschool, library classes, the park, the beach, did crafts, played games, made dinner all the good things the good mommy does.

Why now do the tides seem to be changing? I know I have a High Schooler but I still have a first grader. I still need to do spelling homework right after school, drive everyone all over the planet in the window of 2-6 p.m., be the PTA president of yet a third child's school, clean my house, do my laundry, food shop, cook dinner etc. etc. etc. So why am I made to feel that since my "work" doesn't come with a paycheck it's not real or important? And that someday I will have to get a real job again (why??) and then I will count. Then people will think I do something all day, as all the behind the scenes work somehow gets done on its own.

It bothers me I guess because when I decided to become a mom, I put any career or what I want to be when I grow up aspirations on a shelf. Not that you have to. There are plenty of great moms that work outside the home. I salute them. I am not cut from that cloth. I thought I could come back to it later on...someday. But I am finding someday doesn't really come. Because my children need me. Even though they are all pretty much self sufficient. "Mom can you bring this up to school?" "Mom, I hope you are going to be my class mom this year" "Mom can you drive so and so home otherwise she will have to walk home in the dark" "Mom can you bake 300 cookies for my bake sale...tomorrow?" I need to able to say yes to all this. I know they are lucky. They don't even know how lucky they are. That's ok, they shouldn't. This should be normal for them.
This is where I should be. They are my job. Their academic success, their good behavior, their content safe life is my paycheck. And there will come a day when they all will be driving and not need me so much for the every day. And that's ok. Then I know I would have been successful at my "job".

So to all who may comment on any SAHM's lack of work, or lack of worth...think again. I may be able to make a career dream come true someday. And if it doesnt happen then it wasn't meant to be. But I have one shot at this mom job. I am doing it the best I can. And that validates me right now. A mom is part of who I am. Not all of who I am but a huge part. And you know what I know for sure? I am dam good at it.

Learning from change...

Change is inevitable. A few posts ago I said I don't like change but will learn to go with it because there's nothing I can do to stop it. Well someone heard and decided to put me to the test.

In that time I have lost someone I loved to cancer, and one of my dearest friends is moving away to another state and then my best friends tell me they can't go on vacation as planned(which stinks) because their kids may be sick (which really stinks) and need to attend to that. A few days ago it all felt like really too much to bear. I had a couple poor me moments I must admit.

But that being said, I am really trying this "accepting" change for what it is. It's not easy, at least not for me. Although accepting change will be very hard for me at least I can try to see what I can learn from it. Maybe that will make it easier.

From losing someone, I learn that time is short and live each moment to the fullest. I guess I really knew that anyway but it's a harsh reminder. Maybe now I will choose my battles, especially with my husband and children. Be a better person. To see that funeral home filled to the brim with people, lined up to say goodbye to their friend was amazing. We never know really how many people's lives we touch when we live to be good to those to enter into ours.

From a friend leaving, I learn not to fill everyday with to do's. Have lunch, take a walk, sit on the beach, go shopping. Just be. Be together when you can and make keeping connected a priority. Friends are the family we choose. And now maybe I know a little why I am so lucky to have made so many new good friends. I was going to need them to lean on, to laugh with and to make new memories with. And miles can't erase a friendship. And I don't just make friends, I collect them. Yes, collect them. I don't plan on getting rid of any.

And not to take good health for granted. I remember on my wedding video when the guy went around to everyone at the reception and taped their good wishes for us. And so many people said "we wish you good health" ( or "gooood elth" in broken English...gotta be Italian to appreciate that) and I thought that was weird. What an odd thing to say. Now I get it. I hope all those good health wishes stick "til we are 105...

Sometimes change is great. Sometimes we dread it. Sometimes we wait with happy anticipation for it. Sometime it comes up and smacks us in the face when we weren't looking. But it's always coming. Learn to embrace it? Yeah well maybe in another lifetime. For now I may just shake it's hand and hope it doesn't knock me off my feet.

We remember

Our family remembers. God Bless America.

Good bye Uncle Phil

Our family lost one of our best yesterday. Uncle Phil was everyone's friend. Although he is my DH's uncle I have known him since I am 16 years old and he was and always will be my uncle too. He made me feel like part of the family from the day I met him. He was always there with a joke or a smile. He called me "Clara" just to bug me, hated when we used too many napkins and was a golf buddy to all the guys in the family. He was a wonderful husband. Loved his wife you could tell. They are a great example of what a married couple should be. A great father to his three children and their spouses. A proud grandfather of three who will now grow up without their Papa to show them the way. The baby brother in his family and a son who's mother had to experience the one thing that is every mother's greatest fear. I know his wake and funeral will be standing room only and I know he will be looking down and loving it. We will laugh and cry and walk down memory lane many times in the next few days. Italian funerals are an experience all their own. Unfortunately I have been to several so I am a seasoned professional. I will miss him dearly and still can't believe he is gone. There will be a hole in our family now. I know someday we will not hurt as much. And we all have been smiling through our tears as we speak of him. He will look out for all of us from heaven. We miss you already Uncle Phil and I can't begin to think of all the napkins we'll use on Saturday. I felt him looking over my shoulder at all the tissues I used last night. Rest in peace and I am sure your golf score will be fantastic now! Til we meet again.

And to my friends....if your husband is on your nerves this week, let him off the hook. Time is too short. Ask my Aunt Julie.

September...do you remember?

Yes it's September. OK I said it. I am ok about it though. We had the last "Monday Night at the Beach" night tonight. Did it with bang this time dinner and all..Fun.

So goodbye.......

~ To my "Summer Song"...(I have had it by now listening to it every time I check my blog)

~ "Monday night at the Beach"

~ Lazy mornings

~ my pool

~ Watering all my flowers

~ Dirty pool towels

~ No socks to wash

~ my uniform (bathing suit and coverup)

~ drinks on the deck

~ kickball 'til the street lights come on

~ eating tomatoes off the vine

~ bare feet

~ marshing mallows

Hello...

~homework

~falling leaves

~Autumn clothes...love them!

~Halloween

~My anniversary

~Comfort food for dinner

~fires in the fireplace...

One can always find the best in any situation. And now I have finally come to realize that I can't stop things from changing. I don't think I'm that good with change. I like things they way they are when they are good. Summer is good. But summer's over. Well not really for 20 more days..but it's over in spirit. I am ok with it. A little melancholy? Sure. The beginning of school always make makes me that way. All my kiddies are another year older. Even the "baby" is in a real number grade now..1st! Wow.

So you can't stop change. I have to learn to go with it. So going forward I will try. I will say goodbye to summer. With no regrets. It was a blast. I smile when I think about the fun we had. The memories we made.

And I look forward to September. Maybe taking it one month at a time is a better approach rather than seasonal.

So hello September. First exciting day of school, Junior will be 13 on Friday. (two teenagers in my house now...yikes!), first day of Autumn, trip to a dude ranch with family and friends, apple picking, mums to plant.

Yeah, I can do this.

Homebound Day Eight

Monday - We are sad to go...at least the weather's not nice today so it makes it a little easier to leave. Easy friends are the best. We finish eachother sentences, can laugh about things without saying a word, act silly like we did when we were young, enjoy eachothers kids and their many different personalities. We were sad to say good-bye. Although it was more like see you later. It's only another page in the memory making we have been doing for almost 30 years. "Some day we will grow up and marry best friends"' she said. "And our kids will grow up together and be like cousins" she said. Darned if she wasn't right.

Day Seven

Sunday -

Up and at 'em. Make coffee, set up beach, make breakfast. Pancakes, bacon and sausage for all. Gotta finish up all the food. Kids are good at helping to do that.

Down to the beach alone this morning. Imagine 14 people (we have some more teenage bodies laying around) and I am alone at the beach? Wow. Started the book I brought finally. When you are away with your best friends its hard to really read your book. Its more about talking, dozing and leafing through trashy magazines while talking. So I started my book, but then got distracted by the couple canoodling in front of me. I was wondering if they realized that they were in the middle of a public beach and families were making sand castles not more than 10 feet way? As I thought to myself someone needs to throw ice water on them...the Beach God heard me. The mother of all tides came in and drown them. Everything they had with them almost went out into the ocean. And mind you the water stopped about two feet in front of my "encampment". They were pissed and judging by the dirty look I got from her, didnt appreciate my laughing out loud. So I buried myself in my book as they moved behind me and probably make faces behind my back!

The tide continued and by 12 we had packed it in after our blanket got a soaking. Sleeping teenagers with iPods blasting in their heads did not think it was very funny either. For some reason I did again.

Grandma A and Grandpa J came with lunch after that. G'pa J even joined the I ate a Bug Club before he left.

Me and DH made dinner tonight so MC could chat with his parents. After Chicken Cutlet Parmesan, spaghetti and garlic bread....we left the mess so we could see our last sunset at the dock. Mr. Golden Sun did not disappoint. We took group pictures, oohed and aaahed then we got ice cream (duh). Then one last group dip in the hot tub, yes we allowed kids in with us tonight. And we even serenaded eachother with our new vacation song about food and other things that rhyme with baloney, affectionately now known as the Chic-Mac song. Dancer Girl added some moves we may have a top ten hit on our hands.

All in all we agreed that no one was ready to go home. We could have done ten days. This was one of our favorite trips so far.

P's and the B's FI 2008....Friends Forever....!

Day Six...Crickets anyone?

Saturday ~ Perfect weather again...I cannot believe it.

Babs and Company came out this morning bringing much anticipated bagels. Delicous biscotti made by Kathleen. Yum. Ate breakfast with everyone at the house then spent the day on the beach. Chatting with my pal, catching up on life as the waves break at our feet.

We made them stay for lunch, made again by the hubbys. All the best things...mozzarella sticks, nachos, bagel bites, quesadillas...children descended..food dissappeared. Man that sea air makes kids hungry.

The G's arrived promptly after Babs and Co. departed. ( and yes Kath we did find your bra!!! lol)made the kids' dinner then out with DH, BFF, MC and the G's to Bocce Beach. Again service nothing to write home about though we got a nice table on the outside deck amongst all the action. Then met up with all the kids up to town to listen to the band on the dock. Found them dancing to the music! And holy moly what happened to the quiet??? I think 5000 more people came over on the ferry between Fri. and Sat. Town was HOPPING to say the least. Fun though.

After we got the kids we were on a mission. Eat a cricket. Not me. No can do. I would have thrown up. The candy store will give you a pin as pictured at the top, and take your picture and put it on the wall of fame. So the brave ones were DH, DD, Junior, ( me and Shorty said no thanks), MC, Dancer Girl and Kellster. Ugh. So if you ever happen by that store look for the mugs on the wall. You will never find me there. Maybe the ice cream place will put my picture on the wall for most mint chocolate chip cones?

Day Five

Friday - Up and at 'em early again. So quiet here. I just set up the coffee pot and go sit outside on the deck. I will start breakfast once I hear stirring inside.

After my coffee, I am off to the beach to claim the spot. I kinda got stuck with this job but I think I am enjoying it. I mean climbing up and down those steps 6 times bringing down the chairs and umbrellas to set up reminds me how out of shape I am. But I love to be there alone for awhile. Not many people down there early..too many people in OB stay up late partying so they don't get down to the beach 'til later. Fine by me. I talk with the first lifeguard to arrive for work, since he was wondering what I did wrong to my group to get set up duty every morning. Cute one too. Kind that makes you want to throw yourself into the riptide....just kidding. I digress. A couple walking their dog who runs up to me to say hello shaking his salty wet fur at me, an older man with his trusty metal detector, a jogger or two...and the sound of the waves. Can I ask what is better than dozing to that sound? Mind you I have only gotten up an hour or so ago. I am so relaxed here I barely have a pulse. lol

Mr. & Mrs. T arrive in the late afternoon. Back to the beach again to sit for awhile. Dinner, kids painting their seashells, drinks on the deck..notice a pattern here? Walked the T's to the boat and had yet another ice cream cone run. Have I mentioned that having a mint chocolate chip chocolate sprinkled cone every night can make you a better person? It works, really it does. Bed late tonight as we had to wait for the "boys" to come home at 1 a.m. made friends with a bunch of other kids and were off doing what they do. No I don't want to know so I did not ask.

Day Four

Thursday - Another gorgeous day. I am the first one up again. I can't sleep late but it's ok. I seem to just wake up before 7:00 everyday. Went down to the beach to claim "our spot" again. We have moved closer to the stairs since we have lots of stuff to carry up and down those stairs. Jellyfish again today. They seem to go away later in the day. But they are gross washed up on the shore. ick. Spent the day on the beach with the whole gang. We have quite a set up all of us. No company today.

We went to the Hideaway for dinner; kids stayed home and ordered pizza and watched a movie. Dinner was so good but the service was less that good. Doesn't really matter though. We were not in a hurry. I am in for a rude awakening when the hurrying starts next week. Had the "in" Island drink ~ Rocket Fuel ~ which is a Pina Colada with an Amaretto floater...not impressed. But now I can say I drank one. Who is cooler than me?

Back home into the hot tub again. Too hot tonight. I think we boiled ourselves. I cant wait to sleep in my bed. I like it better than my bed at home. So I step over sleeping teenagers and make my way upstairs to the "parent's section" as Shorty calls it. Another happy beach day.

Day Three

Wednesday - Adults in the hot tub til 1:30 a.m. last night...without any child interruptions..imagine that? Beached it in the morning and the dads came back early to set up lunch for everyone. What will I do when I get back to the mainland and I am required to cook again? lol Had lunch then met the met Master Chef's sister and brood at the dock. Went back to the beach then had a BBQ back here at night. Beach and food...my idea of a good time. The girls arrived on a later ferry...arrived they did. Whew. What is it about girls? They are a whirlwind to say the least. Eldest Daughter brought a friend while Eldest Son's friend is here to sleep too. Good thing kids don't care where they sleep. They are everywhere, but I guess that's the fun of it. After the "brood" went back on the ferry with distruction in their wake...DH,Master Chef,BFF and I went out for drinks. BFF was very stressed out from the visit so we needed alcohol. The most beautiful sunset so far was last night. Takes your breath away. And with the backdrop of home in the background makes it heaven.

Day Two

Tuesday - Another beautiful beach day! 2 for 2 amazing! Up early and down to the beach by 8:00 with Shorty the Shell Hunter and DH. We walked for "towns" collecting shells. Then sat for awhile reading, playing the sand. Parents ventured over for a day trip, their first time here. They loved it. If the Big Guy wins lotto a beach house may be in my future. (keep your fingers crossed). The whole gang hung on the beach for a few hours. Then some went for ice cream, others napped while MC started cooking an early dinner of ribs and chicken, corn and salad. DH made everyone strawberry tequilla daquiris and virgins for the kiddies while they soaked in the hot tub again, along with homemade onion dip and chips (Master Chef again). Took the parents back to the boat to go back to the Mainland. Then we shopped (gotta buy the sweatshirts) had pizza and Shorty played on the playground with the sun setting over the bridge in the background. Who needs the Carribbean when paradise is right in my own backyard? Not me.

Vacation on the Island Day One

Monday - Arrived to beautiful beach day. Even the boxes sent on ahead arrived with no drama as well as the groceries. Seeing as how our stay last year on the Island was full of drama..crappy weather and a "gift" when we got home this time it's so far so good. The house is better than BFF and I remembered. Just perfect. The hubbys were impressed too! After about three hours it looked like we were here for weeks! Checked out "town" and walked on the beach. Started the shell collecting with the little ones. Back to the house for dinner. The Master Chef (from now on lovingly referred to as MC) made his famous skirt steak fajitas. He would give you the recipe but then he would have to kill you. To die for. This all was done while the moms took a nap! Ate too much, fajitas, chips and salsa, two kinds of rice and beans, but we were starving as no one ate much all day, during set up. Kids lounged in the hot tub while we sat and had Coronas on the deck. Little ones passed out early(the couch in the living room's the kind you sit on and instantly fall asleep.) Then all the grownups passed out on it watching the Olympics. lol Everyone's bedrooms are great, comfy beds, tv's, A/C we may never go back to the Mainland!

40 for the last day....

That's it. Now I am officially in my 40's. Tomorrow's the big 4-1.

It's ok though. Some people freak out about being 40ish. I don't. I kinda like it. I think it suits me.

I didn't have a wild 20's decade. It was great...I mean, engaged, married, a baby, bought house had another baby, had great friends, became a stay at home mom all before I was 30. Not too shabby. But I don't have any of those crazy stories about all the wild stuff I did when I was 20something. I had fun don't get me wrong. I guess I have a few stories and maybe scratched an itch or two so to speak. But sometimes I listen to people my age go on and on about how crazy they were when they were 20ish. I think yeah I had a baby by 25...no bar hopping for me.

30's were great times too. I had a new hometown that I loved. (and still do) Another baby, another house. Made some more spectacular new friends. All good. But predictable I suppose. Did what most 30somethings I hung around with did, took care of my kids, made dinners, helped with homework, joined the PTA.

I am just wondering what the 40's will hold. Will it all be predictable? Or will I make things happen. I don't know. Somedays I am ready to take on the world and other days I am just plain tired! ( and all these 40ish aches and pains....grr!) The day before a birthday feels like New Years eve to me. Plans to do things better the coming year. The whole list of "to do's" in my head. I enjoy my actual birthday-day though. Even if it's not a biggie and nothing special is going on. I am a Leo...don't you know it's all about me? lol

But 40's are so far so good. Granted it has only been 365 days in, but good never the less. I may actually have more "stories" from my 40th year than my counterparts do about their entire 20's. (yikes!) Having built in babysitters (see above baby after baby in my 20's...) helps a lot. They get a few bucks and we get to go out and act 20 once in awhile or even go act like grown ups sometimes too! It also helps that I know who I am now, and I am happy where I'm at. It's right about where I thought I would be.

So happy birthday eve to me. Guess I will have to wait and see what my 40's brings.

I am still leaving my summer song on. It makes me feel good. I was not "sipping whiskey out the bottle" in '89, I was planning my engagement party but I still jam to it now and if I want, go buy my own dam whiskey and drink it myself. (ick....not) Ok maybe a bottle of wine in my fancy birthday wine glass then.

Bats in my Belfry

Some people may say that about me. Now it's somewhat true. After laughing about stories of the G's next door, who seem to attract bats in their house in the middle of the night. We got a visit last night. DH watching TV at 2:00 a.m. and sees something at the corner of his eye. Is it a bird again? Yes I said again.

A little background... Smudge Patrick, the cat that thinks he is a dog brought in a beaten (but apparently still alive)crow the size of a Thanksgiving turkey two mornings ago. Thankfully hubby got up first and I just woke to the sound of the vacuum running at 6:30 am. Hubby told me not to even come down, but of course I did luckily for me to only the sight of feathers all over the whole first floor. He told me I did not want to know what he found. I did not ask. I don't do birds. I don't hate them. I mean I used to feed them before I had cats that like to eat them. I definitely do not like them indoors. Flying in the sky is fine...outside as long as they keep their distance.

So back to this morning....he thinks again a freakin' bird? I will kill that cat (who he does not really like in the first place). Then he turns on the lamp...oh no it's a bat. Nudges me...wake up. C'mon I think what the heck with the light on...we just got home at 12:30 am...now he REALLY nudges me..."uh..Hun there's a bat in here!"

What follows is a blur... screaming under my covers...threats to get the hell up and get it out of here before someone is killed...then a revelation. I am outta here. I grab my comforter throw it over my head and run out of the room slamming the door behind me. Leaving poor Bat Man lying pretty much unclothed in the bed with no covers and a bat flying around. That's a mental image huh? So I am not proud to say I hid in daughter dear's room on the floor. Thankfully he was not as freaked out as me. Although he did invite Smudge a.k.a. CatDog who he normally does not want in our room to come to his aid. (Smudge killed a bat a few weeks ago and left it as a gift on the front walkway...yummy) He got the pool skimmer and caught it and threw it out the window through the screen. The skimmer, the screen and I hope not the bat still lie on the side of the house. I am not checking. I will skim the pool with my hand if I must.

So my Bat Man saved the day. Gotta love that guy.

The Tooth Fairy wuz here...

Yes. She was here last night. First time for Shorty. I forgot how exciting it is at night, as you try to fall asleep waiting for her to come.

Although it may be a little nerve wracking. Shorty had a bit of a hard time falling asleep until most of his questions were answered. How does she get in? Will she wake me up? Is she going to touch me? "Leave my door open tonight, and if you hear her you can tell her I said thanks!"

Much to his delight he awoke to "fairy dust" on his window sill and all over his pillow...and even a few "dollars".

So yes she was here indeed. She will keep her fairy dust at the ready, just in case....

Did I mention I love summer?

I do. You're hearing my new favorite song again from my friend J.M. ( I can't find it on Itunes yet pal so you can listen here for now)

Yeah summer. Yeah flip flops even if they are bad for your feet. Yeah no bedtimes. Yeah beach at night.

I need to bottle this for February. Ick don't even want to say the "W" word. Yuck

Rock on JM

Know what's good?

Now don't get me wrong..I love diamonds, convertible BMW's, and pedicures as much as the next gal.

But what's really good? Being at the town beach at sunset, a stone's throw from my house, hearing a (quite large) bunch of kids playing football on the sand, swimming in the bay and making sand creations, while me and my girls (most of them anyway) sit on a beach blanket talking about chick flicks, songs that make us cry and hair color. And in the background the laughter of some of my favorite dads as they talk guy talk. Just being. Being a relaxed mom, caring friend, loving wife and all at the same time even!

Peaceful. Content. That's what's good. And I know someday I will miss this. But for now it's good.

This one's for you girls.....

Summer Time and The Living is Easy

Finally. It's Summer. Looking back at wintertime blogging I am surprised I made it to the summer..lol.

This is my week to breathe. Although school officially ended on Wed. I have had family staying here for a week so now the bed and breakfast is closed too.

So this week sleeping as late as you want everyday is allowed. Coming into Mom's bed after Daddy has left for work is strongly encouraged. (even the kids that are bigger than me). Coming downstairs before Mom and eating Oreo's for breakfast is really not allowed but is overlooked (this week only). Pool in place of a shower is ok maybe every other day. (chlorine kills germs). We have rekindled our friendship with the ice cream man who so nicely drives ever so s-l-o-w-l-y down our block so that in case you need to jump up and down 37 times to get your parent out in the front to buy ice cream, you won't miss him. Isn't that nice of him?

Deciding whats for dinner 30 minutes before we want to have dinner. And then maybe just going to the diner at like 7:00 (so late for dinner we are such rebels!) and then going down to the town beach 'til after it gets dark taking goofy pictures. It's wonderful. Then next week it's not like it will be back to the routine. VBS starts so we have to be up at a certain time. But our biggest worry will be when is water day so we remember to bring a towel. "Camp" is peppered in throughout July..but nothing major...just fun stuff for a few hours a day. August is open. One week in FI...with abundant sunshine this year and no burglars thank you very much.

Lazy mornings and even lazier evenings.

"Marshing mallows" on the fire pit,wet towels everywhere but no socks to wash! The smell of sunblock and bug spray, chlorine, salt water, warm air. Seagulls, sand on your feet, sand in your hand...little sanded kids that look like chicken cutlets, dogs and little boys with summer haircuts,spring planting finally coming to life, fresh cut lawns, kickball in the street 'til the street lights come on. Delicious. Normally I would NOT use that word to describe anything but food...but it's the first word that comes to mind when I think of all that. I plan to throw myself into it. Up to my eyeballs in it all even.

So when September comes I will be looking forward to new pencils, notebooks and school clothes. And some September solitude. But right now that seems light years aways...now it's Summer. Yipppeee!

Hubby

Yesterday was my DH's birthday. As usual he wanted nothing. Though he does want a GPS for his car which we will go buy in the near future. But as he is an avid reader of my blog and will eventually read this. So for your birthday...here are the top ten reasons why I love you. (there are of course much more but these are the top ten)

10. You can make me laugh like no one else. Especially when I am trying to fall asleep and you remember something you forgot to tell me when I was vertical.

9. You only know how to tell dirty jokes. And sometimes I even find them funny.

8. You are a great dad. No frills, no big show. Just honest, fair, generous (to a fault sometimes).

7. Everyone loves you. Really I don't know of many ( or any?) people that don't like you. It used to annoy me when I was younger but now it's something I admire

6. You give the BEST massages. And even though I hate to give them, you never turn me down. And yes I know you usually have ulterior motives but I'm easy.

5. You're a flirt and usually shamlessly flirt with other women who are unable to resist your charm. But I know at the end of the day who has your heart.

4. You're the real deal. The TP other people see is the one I know. No pretenses, no put on, just real.

3. You will help anyone. And I mean anyone. And even though sometimes in the past I would get mad because I felt someone was taking advantage of you, you assured me that it was ok and "it's what you do".

2. You have called me "hun" since we were 17 years old and it was really not cool to call your girlfriend that and even though your friends made fun of you (remember volleyball) you didn't care.

1. You love me in spite of my mood swings, times when I flip out, when I am afraid, when I am not a perfect mom. You always have my back, and won't hesitate to tell me when I am wrong even if I strongly disagree. You have made me a better person, let's face it I am much more easygoing than say ten years ago...and that's because of you.

So let cyberspace know my top ten. I am glad you are out playing golf today since you had to work all day on your birthday.

Happy Birthday. I love you.

P.S. I forgot to mention that yesterday was Barry Manilow's birthday as well. Yeah Fanilows!

Probably make a better Interior Decorator

I know what my profile and my music say...Pussycat Doll and all that.

But seriously what gets me "hot" is interior decorating. Not "Dont-cha hot" mind you. But still.

I know I have a knack as some people have told me. I know I really felt it when we remodeled our old house. To have a clean slate to work with, no one but me to decide what to buy, paint etc. was heaven. I took design classes and although they were at night during the week, I had a baby and two other kids home and some nights I was tired, but when I got to class I came alive. I could not get enough of it. I wanted to start my homework the minute I got home at 9:30 p.m. But then enter life...and I stopped taking classes. Put it on the back burner. Put all my A+ projects away along with my totally cool drafting tools and case.

We moved into this house and again a clean white (literally every wall) slate, and although 2 1/2 years later it's still a work in progress because I do have grand plans for this house I daydream about all I will do. It's like an addiction.

I am thrilled to be currently getting to use my friend's house as a guinea pig. We are painting every room, shopping for new stuff...I think I have died and went to heaven! It is my new obsession...this is what I want to do. I want to have a business like that helps everyday people who don't know where to begin when it comes to decorating their house. Not people who have unlimited budgets and aren't even involved in the process. So my friend C. is letting me pick her brain, get to know what she wants from her house. What her kids like and dislike. Her husband is even being a good sport. Although he has color-phobia he is sitting back and letting us go wild. I know they will love it. Well, I hope they will love it. Maybe they will be a first in a long line of "clients"...scary to say it out loud. (or write it as the case may be). Maybe I will grow up to be an interior decorator after all.

Music

If you are hearing the Pussycat Dolls right now...No I don't think that you wish your girlfriend was hot like me...I just may want to be a Pussycat Doll when I grow up...(see profile)...there are other songs added that are other aspects of my personality...there are many sides to me in case you didn't know.

Thanks to Mrs. P, when I heard Boy George (seriously though..why?) on her blog...I needed to investigate.

Rock on.

Parenting 101

LESSON #1 - "Give your kids EVERYTHING they need and MOST of what they want"

That has really been a parenting lesson that has continuously ran in the back of my mind throughout my 15 years so far of parenting. Sometimes it proves to be the hardest lesson to learn.

Sometimes I feel constantly bombarded with what "they" have and what "they" do that I second guess myself and think maybe I am not doing the right thing. It's not that my kids say "So and So has this and I want it too". There's not really any of that, mostly because my kids have heard "I don't care what so and so does/has" enough times to realize they need a better angle to ask for what they want. Not stupid kids by any means. It's the devil on my shoulder that says.."you need to get _______(fill in the blank) for Shorty(or Jr. or Herself) He needs that.

NO, HE DOES NOT! He needs me to love him. He needs positive reinforcement. He needs to read before bed. He needs to respect adults and his friends. He needs to not have that Kindergarten potty mouth the last few days.(poop this and fart that).

So for a little while I think he needs to have his own trampoline. He REALLY wants one. I try to talk myself into it. I will make sure they are safe. I will monitor all jumping. I will post signs. I will get out of having the huge kiddie party this time, buy a trampoline and have some pizza and pool for a few pals. Then I sit one night in my kitchen and watch Jr's 13 year old friend unwrap his seriously broken arm. Bones popped out, blood, pins...ugh. Did it on his trampoline. His mother is normal. She's a nurse. Nice responsible family. OK no trampoline. But in a moment of madness I told Shorty he could have one for his birthday. But in a moment of what I know was Divine Intervention..he tells me he really would rather have a karate party (he wanted one his WHOLE life didn't you know???) and maybe get a trampoline some other birthday. Whew. He wasn't going to get one but, I was not looking forward to that conversation. So I just look up and say "thanks". Sometimes God knocks you on the head (i.e. boy with broken arm) and if you still dont get it he gives you a free pass.

Fast forward to class trip. At the end the only way to escape is of course through the gift shop. Of course shop is full of sea creatures and the like that we do not need. I knew about it, and I knew that he would be allowed to get something. When his buddy picked up the largest stuffed sea creature available and announced "this is what I am getting". (priced close to $40..ugh) I think..great. We definitely do not need another stuffed animal. I brace myself for battle. But my parenting skills shine through. Shorty: "I do not need a stuffed animal...I have way too many...I think I like this, Mom."
He hands me a little package with a seashell fossill to dig out. I can be an archeologist. (reading at bedtime...) $5. Done. Kid's happy...he talks about all the sea creatures he saw today, what fun he had and how glad he was that it was me and him today. Score one for Mom.

So no to candy before dinner. (Well we did get the ice cream man before dinner the other day...we are allowed to break the rules sometimes) Inside voices a must. Cross the street only when parents are outside to watch you. Say please. Say thank you. And someday realize the times I said no, and it really made you upset, I did for you. I did it for your safety. Or maybe I did it because you really did not need anymore sugar. Or I did it because I don't want you to be a self centered person who thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants when he wants it. And that things cost money, and money is earned, not picked off trees. ( I am channeling my parents now..)And sometimes you don't get what you want. Or what you prayed for. Or what the other guy gets. But you do get parents who love you beyond measure and are proud of the boy you are and the man you will be.

I guess this parenting thing is forever a work in progress. But for all the times you may second guess yourself, it's nice to have the days that you can say...Yes! I am doing the right thing. But the right thing isn't usually the easier thing to do. That may be Lesson #2. For another day.

Happy to report...

That the Kindergarten Class below mentioned has seen the error of their ways and we had a smashing Spring Party this afternoon....full of decorating beach pails with paint and stickers, and make your own ice cream sundaes...!

Life is good.

Some days it ain't easy being a parent....

Today is one of them. ran around like a nut had pretty much every minute of the morning with something in it. Kind of day that if one thing goes wrong it could have the domino effect. But it was smooth sailing. Did all the errands I needed to do. Showed up where I said I would..I did think to myself "wow this day is going perfect so far" but knew I couldn't say that out loud for fear I would "jinx" myself. Now I know you can't even think it.

Did all my stuff and got Shorty's school with 2 minutes to spare, in time for the Kindergarten Spring Party. I take my class mothering very seriously. Especially since this is my last go around I want things to go how I want them to go. End of story. I was there front and center with my four gallons of ice cream for the "make your own sundaes" and the beach pails for everyone to paint for our upcoming Beach Party. Perfect. Well until we walked into the classroom. My how quiet everyone was. Busy writing not even looking up when we walked in. "Great", I think. They are being good. You see they have not been on their best behavior all week. Teacher had even send a note home informing parents that everyone has Spring Fever it seems and have been bouncing off the walls.

Now Mrs. C is an amazing Kindergarten teacher. Patience of a saint. Never raises her voice, she is fair, firm and loves those kids. I know, I requested her. Junior had her way back when he was in Kindergarten. She was practically in tears when we got there.

Apparently not only have they been misbehaving all day, seems they were really bad in the cafeteria and got a scathing report from their monitor. If we had been coming a little earlier she would have told us to stay home..no party.

So what to do? We talked in an adult huddle in the back of the room. All the moms were free on Monday should we move the party to then? None of us wanted to do it. But they really needed to learn a lesson. We agreed. She turned to the class with her voice cracking said quietly "the party is cancelled."

I can't tell you the looks on 23 little faces. Broke my heart. She made them apologize to us for having made us come for nothing. It was like getting punched in the stomach. A few put their heads down to not let anyone know they were crying. Shorty was looking at me with those huge brown eyes..which are doubly huge when he is trying not to cry. I think they were in shock. You could have heard a pin drop.Before we all lost it we had to leave. One little voice said "we are so sorry" as we were leaving.

It's bad enough when you have to teach your own children but add 22 more and it's that much more difficult. Needless to say I am shot. I feel so bad. Some days parenting stinks and this is one for the record books. Bright side is if we do the party on Monday they would have been really good so it will be that much more fun. Keeping my fingers crossed for good behavior.

If You Give A Mom A Coffee Pot

So many books you read can parallel life, have a double meaning that is reflective of what goes on in a person's life. For example I was in a discussion once about how "The Wizard of Oz" is really all about life. (yes another post all together). Well I have just come to the realization that my life parallels the children's book "If You Give a Mouse A Cookie" by Laura Numeroff. My book would be called "If You Give A Mom A Coffeepot". It goes something like this...

If you give a Mom a coffeepot she will be standing near the sink. She will see the dishes in the sink that her family left in there last night while she was at a meeting. Then she realizes the dish washer was never run last night and decides to load them in. When she realizes the dishwasher is full she decides to quickly wash them by hand.

When she turns on the dishwasher she must go to the laundry room to get an old towel because the guy won't be here to fix the dishwasher until next week and it leaks water all over the floor. When she goes into the laundry room she realizes that her daughter did not put her laundry in the dryer and loads the dryer with her wet clothes. When she comes back to put the towel under the dishwasher she sees that the front of the dishwasher could us a wipe so she gets out the Windex and grabs a handful of paper towels.

When realizes she grabbed too many paper towels she decides to Windex the front door that the dog yacked all over while barking at another dog walking down the street. When she thinks of the dog she realizes that dog didn't have her treats yet this morning so she gives her dog some treats. When she gives her dog some treats she realizes she didn't put Shorty's snack in his backpack yet.

When she is putting Shorty's snack in his backpack she realizes it's time to go to the bus. So she walks Shorty to the bus but as she is coming back she sees a wiffle ball, a frisbee and a basketball on the lawn. So she decides to put them away in the garage. While she is in the garage she straightens up the recycling area a little since Jr. just threw the pails back after bringing them in.

When she thinks of Jr. she had to go upstairs to check that he is almost ready to leave for school. While she is up there she decides to empty Shorty's full hamper and throw his laundry in the machine since it is empty now. When she goes into the laundry room she stubs her toe on the doorway drops the laundry basket and says a few curses. When she says a few curses she thinks how can she be grouchy already this early in the day. Then she realizes that she has not had any coffee yet. And chances are if she realizes she hasn't had any coffee yet she will go back into the kitchen and start to make a pot of coffee.

So I think either I have a best seller on my hands or I have ADD. I'm not sure.

5 Year old update

Seems to be passing...maybe we both have the winter blues? Here's to two days 'til spring!!
Yahoo!

A 5 year old

It amazes me how a five year old little boy can affect me. I don't only mean in the sense of how much love he stirs up in me or our family. But how one little thing he says can alter my entire mood in a good or bad way. Lately it's been bad. Not that he is a "bad boy". (I hate that term I never use it...I feel tell a kid he is bad and he will not disappoint you). He really is a good boy. I know that. And it's not because he is mine. I think I have a pretty real sense of who my kids are.

Lately I feel like he is losing his self worth. Doubting himself. A result I suppose of going to school all day. But I had two before him who already did Kindergarten, but I don't remember this. Again, maybe we don't remember painful things as a defense mechanism. Hence why we have more than one child..lol.

This child had wanted to be five since he was two. Seriously. He always asked when will I be five?...how long 'til I am five?...can we figure out how many minutes until I am five?...and so on. When he turned five I thought this will be his year..finally five. 365 fleetings days to relish in being 5. But about six months into this banner year, there was a shift. Suddenly five sucks. "EVERYONE else is six!" (not EVERYONE..two friends on the block yes but not everyone). Everyone runs faster, rides a two-wheeler better, colors better, has better "stuff". He has NO interest in going to the religion class he has attended since he was three and has always loved. Could even do with a couple less days of school thank you very much. The crying has increased somewhat over stupid little things. I feel so protective over him. Like he is going to break, which is very unlike me.

I eavesdrop on his conversations with friends to make sure he isn't getting picked on. He had to get a cavity filled and he LOVES the dentist but I felt like smacking the dentist when he asked me to sit in the waiting room while he did his thing. I could not help but to sneak back into the hall to listen that he was ok. Which of course he was, how you get your tooth filled while asking 100 questions I do not know. But that's another post.

So maybe the reason I am writing this out loud, is to find my own answer from my own words. I usually know what to do with my kids. But when he says "I don't really go on the swings at school 'cause I can't "pump" that good" I want to throw his jacket on go out back and make him practice pumping. Have I lost my mind? I know there are far greater problems in the world. I know there are parents with such issues with their kids that they would kill for my "problems".

I am hoping this is a phase. Maybe he is just getting older, wiser to the world around him, where things aren't always great. Where people sometimes hurt your feelings and do things to you that you would never dream of doing to them. We all have to learn that. Guess this is one of those times where I would gladly take on the hurt to protect him from it. In a perfect Mom's world we could always do that for our kids. But it's not a perfect world. Just wish he didn't have to learn it the hard way like I did. But I guess we all have to.

Fire Island Adventure

Yes I said Fire Island. I am not hallucinating from cabin fever. I was actually on Fire Island yesterday. Freezing my butt off...but so happy to be walking on SAND!!!

Went with hubby and friend to check out some summer rentals. I emailed an online real estate and connected with the agent online and arranged to look at houses. As the day got closer I started to worry. How do I know if this is really a real estate agent? What if it's a murderer who lures people to the Island of Fire to kill them and throw their body into the cold Atlantic? After I was poo-poo'd by hubby and friend we were off. Had to meet "Bruce"at Field 5 then he would take us over in his jeep.

OK so now forward to the "meeting" . Out of the Jeep ( a little one mind you I am thinking like 4 doors but no) emerges Bruce. Not your typical real estate agent. I am thinking, ok I was hoping for someone to emerge that would put my Stephen King novel to rest. No such luck. Six foot, long hair, knit hat, surfer dude shades, denim jacket, boots. Hmmm. We shake hands as we introduce ourselves. "hey Cara so cool to meet you..." Oh boy.

So without more than a brief introduction we are off. Skidding out and bumping along the beach. 10 foot waves crashing not too far away. This is it. He is going to make a sharp right and go right in...killing three birds with one stone. (so to speak) But no, we keep bumping right along. Did I mention the BUMPING???? I mean after three large babies, my insides ain't what they used to be. I think my bladder is stuck in my throat. He tells us he has lived here for 32 years. A true local. I say..."must run out of things to do here all winter." Well that opened up the flood gates. He was a carpenter, real estate appraiser, clammer, construction company owner, surfer, husband, (wife couldnt take the floods in the 90's and since she was a professional roller skater and joining Cirque Du Soliel anyway she ditched him), divorced guy, boyfriend (girlfriend is 30 years younger..now I am figuring him for about 60), a resident of Costa Rica, multiple dog owner ( hence the smell of wet dog and dog hair all over the back seat...yummy), horse owner, an almost multi-millionaire 3 times over, green..environmentally speaking, and very well read. Oh, and now a real estate agent.

Mind you we were with him for about 1 1/2- 2 hours. A lot of info for that time frame. Even for me and I like the details. And we did manage to look at 6 houses in between stories.

Now had I gone alone or with CB...and not the men. I am thinking I would have said...
Cara? No I'm not Cara I am meeting someone else here." And left. But since I had the men with me...probably could have taken him anyway..but it's good to have some backup, we went on the adventure.

After saying some goodbyes and listening to a few more stories...oh and he really is not into the Nude Beach at Field 5. Too many old men tanning their wrinkled junk. (not my words..) We decided that we like one of the houses and he will call with all the details. He thought we were cool...and he had fun laughing with us. I think that's a compliment since he probably thought the three of us had a 10 foot pole up our ass when we began. We finally got into the car..cranked the heat (did I mention that I dont think there was any heat in that Jeep?) and laughed all the way back to the Mainland.

All in all an interesting "adventure". I am glad I went. Learned some things about FI. Got a LOT of dirt on the residents...I may write a book. Got to walk on the sand...as the sun peeked out of the clouds..as if to say...I will be here waiting. Come back soon. Oh and I think that old Salty Dog is pretty cool too.

So I hang on by a thread getting through these last days of winter. I have to hang on. I have a date with the sun that I am planning to keep.